Yesterday we went to the fair. I was a little hesitant to go because this would be the first year that Houston has decided not to join us. I know, I know, he's nearly 21 and I need to "cut the cord" as so many people tell me but honestly, I think that's a silly thing to say. I simply enjoy his company and he enjoys mine. That's something to encourage and celebrate between a mother and son regardless of age, don't you think? He didn't want to go this year though and I honored his that because after-all, it's really not his thing.

So with my two girls and husband in tow we set out for the Lane County Fair. Yes, I had one of those "moments" that I spoke about in my last post. I'm not sure exactly what to call it yet, maybe now's the time to figure it out. It's a moment when time seems to stand still for a second. Yes! Truly, I know that sounds like a scene out of a movie and but it's not like that exactly. It's more of a pause in my mind and I'm not able to concentrate on anything else. The moment comes and goes quickly. It's more of a....pause. There we have it, we will call it my moment of pause.

Now that we've established a name for it, let's move on to talk about it.

I had a moment of pause yesterday while at the fair. There we go, a long round-a-bout way of telling you all that (hopefully I will get better at this blog thing). There I was, standing in the heat of the day, Megan and her dad are waiting in line to go on a ride, Mattie is standing near me and there's people, tons of people everywhere. The truth that struck me? That the fair is for everyone. Well, not technically the fair. It wasn't the fair that I noticed, it was the JOY. The absolutely pure, uninhibited joy on everyone's faces.

There was an older woman and a young man that were getting off of a ride and she looked like the sort that didn't smile much. But if that was the case you wouldn't have known that earlier because just a couple of minutes ago she had a smile on her face that could light up a room. There was a man that touched the back of the woman next to him, they both smiled at one-another and she reached for his arm. There was a large family of various generations leaving one ride line to run to the next because there was no line for that ride. Joy was everywhere, on everyone, it didn't pick and choose those that were dressed nice or those with more money. It didn't touch only those that fit in. No, joy was everywhere. Joy was even on the face of the guy that was dressed up like a creepy clown. For whatever reason he was dressed like that I will never know because after one look when I heard his belly laugh I quickly turned away. I don't like clowns, especially creepy clowns.

So, I had my moment of pause. To take in all of the joy, the laughter, the love, the smiles. People CHOSE to live in joy that day. What more could we do to stay there? To find joy with everyone else around us even when we're not standing in line for a ride to sling us around. Even when we're not playing "wack-a-mole" to earn a prize. Even when we're not loading up on sugary sweats and tasty treats. How can we choose to show up for the fair, when the fair is gone?

I would love to give you the answer to that question as I'm on a quest to figure it for myself. To live a life of joy even when the fair is gone. Even when the rides are all over, the food is all ate and the prizes are no more.

What makes the fair different from everyday life? It's a place that you can go to and come back from. But the joy, the joy that was spent there. Even with the rides, the prizes and the food...that was all still a choice. A choice to let those things please you, or hurt you. For me the food was no a pleasure since I can't eat any of it. The prizes, I could have cared less for myself. The rides, they only brought so much joy because of the giggles from littlest. I chose joy because I wanted it. I wanted to enjoy my time at the fair.

So, I can do this. I can bask in the joy of others each day. I can create fun right here at home, why wait for it? Why wait for the fair to come to town? Each day doesn't have to be a silly-laugh-your-head-off kind of day (though I wouldn't mind that), but it could be, can be a day where I set out with the intention, to enjoy my time. Whatever time that may be.

I'm sitting here staring at a kitchen that I just dirtied by cooking breakfast. A kitchen that needs cleaning, food put away, dishes washed. You know what though? I'm going to go enjoy the dickens out of taking care of that. I'm going to turn on some fun music, shake my booty a little and I'll probably even belt out some lyrics while I'm at it.

I better get to it while the fire is burning in me to have some fun because truth be told, I'm in charge of my own joy, and so. are. you.

Blog Daydreaming

Truth be told...I haven't the slightest clue what I'm doing right now.

What I do know is that I've been daydreaming, yes, literally daydreaming about writing a blog titled Truth Be Told for, oh let's say, a couple years now.

Here is my original reasoning. Throughout my day something at least one thing, will really stand out to me. Whether it's how absolutely precious my five year old can be, or how absolutely horrendous my fourteen year old can behave, or maybe it's something like what I was thinking when I saw the homeless man walking down the street the other day, there is ALWAYS at least one thing that will really strike me to the core each day.

Now not only do these moments make me pause and actually stop and think. They also seem to change me a little. Like there is this innate wiring in all of us that we have to remain the same, that we can't ever change our minds or heaven forbid, who we are for that matter!

So, that's where the title Truth Be Told comes in. I'm often catching myself thinking I think one way, only to realize, I don't actually think that way at all. Or maybe not that dramatic, maybe I'm more on the fence or just maybe, I'm entirely indifferent about the whole thing, whatever that thing may be.

Well, that brought me to the first reasoning behind this blog. Now here's the second. I've been reading a book by Rachel Hollis called Girl Wash Your Face and in that book she instructs you to write down your dreams. Yep, now you follow me. I've been challenged to get off my booty (well not literally because I pretty much have to be on my booty while I type this) and finally start the blog I've been doing what?, ah yes, daydreaming about.

Here it is in all it's glory. The very first blog post of Truth Be Told. I feel satisfied and a little....annoyed. Annoyed that I can't really delight in this moment because, truth be told, I have a headache, the girls are being loud and I feel like I could fall asleep at any minute. Yep, this is what this is all about. Being honest no matter what. Allowing myself to feel what I feel, analyze it for what it is and do what I can to make it better. Sending the girls out to play in the pool, popping some acetaminophen and then going outside to recharge in the sunlight, that's what I can do. Now I'm off to do just that and now I CAN delight in the thrill of knowing that I've finally started in on my daydream of creating this blog. Crap, do I click publish, eek!!!